what happened back then ..

I know I've been abandoning this blog for a while, my apology..
So many things happened, and i didn't have any chance to write them here..

So what happened back then were..

* i didn't have a happy and peaceful holiday back in my home country.. berantem ama nyokap terus, sampai at some point we didn't talk to each other..
Aku sebenernya tahu sih aku salah. Semua berawal dari Candy. Mama ga suka aku pelihara Candy, apalagi Candy ada kotorin karpet. Dan yah because the fact that aku gak lulus2 juga. Mungkin dia kira aku banyak main-main dan gak serius. She didn't know the reality that I've been dealing with depression and it really affected me in a bad way. And if I didn't have Candy, I might die since long time ago.
Yah lalu she refused to pay my apartment rent fee. Ditunda-tunda mulu, setelah ini lah, setelah itu lah, lalu sampai setelah ko yuki married lah, sampai pada akhirnya aku capek juga ngomong. Percuma juga omong karena at that time, nothing can be said. She hates my guts, and I hate her too.
I was thinking of giving up, seriously. To have a suicide attempt really became my option.
So we didn't talk to each other until the end, she was planning to take a trip to Taiwan with her sister's family on 26th Dec, she totally forgot that I was supposed to leave the next day to Melbourne.

* So then aku bener-bener pulang ke Melbourne on 27th Dec, without saying goodbye to my mom. My brother and sister-in-law said that they would help me to talk to my mom, but i know it'd be hard. They said if my mom was still stubborn, not wanting to support me again here, they'd leave home to. But they can survive even without my mom, but I can't. So i came back to Melbourne, with nothing prepared. All I can think about at that time was, I wanted to take and see Candy again. My condition at that time, I was really prepared to die. I only had few money left, dan uang rent apartment belom terbayar, so I couldn't stay at my apartment. I only can bring my luggage and Candy. I had nowhere to go. If I didn't get any help, I was planning to give Candy up to shelter, and suicide.

I don't have many friends left, and the ones that are still here couldn't help me. Then, i don't know i can call it miracle or what, something happened.
I prayed to God. tuhan, aku ga ada jalan keluar. aku gak tahu harus ngapain. aku ga ada tempat tujuan, ga ada teman, ga ada harapan lagi. kumohon bantu aku, karena kalau tidak, aku benar-benar ga ada jalan keluar dan satu-satunya yang ada di pikiranku adalah giving up.

Then, he came. Out of nowhere.

Aku nyampe Melbourne pagi hari. Agent apartment datang baru sore hari. Jadi aku masih ada waktu masuk ke apartment, dan nyalain messenger.

Suddenly he IMed me. Setelah sekian lama tidak kontak sama sekali.
His name is Charles Tham. I knew him few years ago, in 2006. At that time, i was moving, to Renata's apartment, so i needed a removalist. He was working as a removalist at that time, and Renata told me about him. So I hired him, but that's it. We didn't talk much, baik in person or in messenger. I was a customer of his mom's catering business, so I saw his mom a lot, but I rarely met him.

So anyway, i was really surprised. He messaged me and helped me to find temporary stay, I thanked God for him.
Maybe this is the reason I'm still sticking with him until now, eventhough all people said i shouldn't be with him. (more in this later...)
Aku berhutang banyak ke dia, kalau dia ga ada waktu itu, mungkin aku sudah ga ada sekarang ini.


Jadi setelah aku dikickout sama agent dari apartment, aku gak tahu mesti kemana. Ga ada tempat tujuan, dan hanya bawa satu koper dan Candy. Dan ga ada yang bisa ditumpangin.
Charles contacted me, he said ada temannya yang bisa ditumpangin. So he picked me up around 10 pm, after he's finished with FA, and after visiting some of his friends, i stayed at his friend's apartment.

Andy Maslan is his name. He's a good guy, he allowed me to stay at his place, eventhough he didn't know me, apparently Andy and Charles were best friends. And he liked Candy, so it was really a relief for me.

So i stayed at his place for sometime. Housemates nya Andy lagi holiday, so it was okay for me to stay there for some days. Masih lom ada kabar bagus dari koko, koko dan ce erni masih berusaha maksa mama untuk come into her senses and ngalah. In the other side, my mom wanted me to give Candy up. And it was really the hardest thing I've ever had to do. After giving my baby up, i kinda see Candy as my baby, i loved her very much.

Anyway, about my mom, yah pokoknya she's willing to support me again, as long as I give Candy up. Hmm.. So Candy's basically with Andy now. Right now it's just impossible for me to take care of her, sadly. It breaks my heart not being able to take care of her, but what can I do?

Okay.. More about Charles.. He keeps me company most of the time, he even stayed over too at Andy's apartment. Mungkin karena di apartment dia ga ada kamar kali ya, his parents came over for his graduation. So I guess kita mulai deket dari situ. But like the old saying, easy comes easy goes... It doesn't really like what I was hoping to be ...

- to be continued -