Pistanthrophobia
The common fear of trusting people,
due to past experiences with relationships gone bad.
- @firstworldfacts
24-25 SEPT 2012
Dear, you...
Yeah, I skipped a day of writing. :(
It's not like I didn't have anything to say to you, but I've been extremely tired lately, which I don't really know why, that I actually slept longer than usual yesterday. Didn't plan to actually, I was still snuggling into your shirt when I fell asleep, and ended up sleeping for almost 10 hours. Felt refreshed at the morning of course, though I felt bad for not writing here for yesterday.
So today I am still thinking about the same thing, how I keep distance from people. This morning I had another interesting conversation, with someone "somehow related" to me (which I think you can guess, as I can't really disclose the names due to respect). So another event has happened which put me in disadvantage. I can't really stress out the details in here.
In the nutshell, I feel like another similar situation is happening, how people think they do what's best, and they think it's better, which is actually if it's looked through properly, it's not. And the outcome of those action affected me negatively.
Well, I don't really mind, if people judging me only from their own perspectives, and I don't demand them to understand about me.
But I gotta say, sometimes it sucks.
~^~
I still remember the day we met.
I still couldn't believe myself actually, why I did agree to meet up with you.
Was it because you're really skillful in wooing girls, or you really meant it to break my walls?
Just now when I was reminiscing the old day, I realized that meeting you was really different from the rest. I don't enjoy meeting new people. I don't enjoy small-talks. When I am on a date, very often I can't wait for the date to be over and go home.
Did you remember our first date? We agreed on having dinner, on that place that now I consider my happy place, and watching movies. Never really planned on doing anything else, but then after the movie ended, you asked me to go to that cafe first before going home. Do you remember what time it was? Almost 10 PM, and I had to go home soon. But stupidly I said okay. That should have been my first clue on how you were gonna totally change my world.
And how I can act ridiculously silly with you.
You should be proud of yourself, because only you can do that.
And that's another way for me of knowing that I love you. For when I am with you, I never want it to end so soon.
And only you can make me comfortable enough to bring out my inner-child.
~^~
I've been going to Starbucks so often lately. (^^)v
For the most parts because Novita is also there quite often. I want to show you our usual place to hang out. It's outdoor because they are smokers, but this is my fave spot too.
 |
| One of those tables. In the corner. |
And I always sit in the chair that's facing outside. Why?
So I can see this.
 |
| The Lights. |
Is it nice? :)
Every time I go here, I think about you. Yes, I think about you anytime, anywhere. But here there are few factors that remind me of you.
I totally want to take you here. :(
It has coffee. And it's outdoor.
Where we can see city lights. People. The moon.
And........ listening to the smooth jazz music the barristas put on.
I never really listen to jazz before I met you, and you made me hooked on it. I like it very much, and every time I listen to it, I think about you.
This night is an almost great night. Not too breezy night, not too hot either. Relaxing smooth jazz music on. Yummy drinks. There's only one thing missing from making this a great night. You.
.bie.
.... missing and loving you as always
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